Why I $#&@*! Hated CrossFit (but stuck with it anyways): An Honest & Graphic Testimonial :)

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Yesterday I had a great conversation with someone who has just hit a major milestone at CrossFit Squamish. She was talking about the people from her Foundations who had stayed and remembering those who hadn’t. She then said “I &*$%#@! hated CrossFit in the beginning”, so I asked “why did you keep coming then?!”. Her answer was so honest and amazing that as soon as she finished speaking I asked her if she would take 5 minutes to write it down for me so I could share it. I know first hand that coming to the gym hasn’t been easy for her on many levels. We have had more than one “fight” before a workout (“I can’t”.. “You’re going to at least try” type conversations), and because of that I have also had some of my favourite coaching moments with her when I have witnessed her discovering her own abilities. Knowing her journey is what makes her current feelings towards her experience here so interesting to me. Enjoy… and if you can relate, I hope this gives you some motivation 🙂

“When I first started coming to CrossFit I dreaded the workouts, which is different from dreading coming to CrossFit – I never dreaded coming to CrossFit per se; I loved the idea of CrossFit and the friends who I would always see there, so actually showing up was never a problem. Once there, however, I would look at the WOD and my stomach would sink. And I would HATE doing the WOD. I would actually feel anger, and frustration, and more than once almost tears during the workout. I had such negative thoughts: CrossFit was stupid; the movements were stupid and worst of all I was not strong enough to do them. These negative feelings persisted for months — probably close to six months, which, when you think about it, is a long time to kind of hate something. And even though I felt this way, I still showed up (four times a week most weeks!) and somehow I always managed to survive those dreaded WODs. Luckily, I am no stranger to this very type-2 style fun, so when I wasn’t in the middle of a totally heinous WOD I could appreciate with my rational mind the gains I was making in terms of my overall strength and fitness (and my friends kept telling me how great my ass was looking, which also helped a bunch!). So I kept going, and I got stronger, and I got better, and eventually those negative thoughts stopped dominating my mindset during WODs. My whole attitude towards CrossFit finally – after months and months of persistent negativity – changed. Instead of hating difficult challenges, for the most part, I embrace them. Now when I get to the gym and see a really difficult workout, I get stoked to see how well I can do. Why? Because the more WODs I survived (albeit barely at times!) the more my perception of my abilities shifted; where once the WOD’s reminded me of how weak I was, they now show me how strong I am.

This sounds super cheesy, I know, but CrossFit has really helped me (is continuing to help me) turn my fear of failure into an opportunity to grow, and learn, and just be better (metaphor for life??). Whenever I fall into those periods of self-deprecation, I actually think about my CrossFit journey because it reminds me that I am much stronger than I sometimes think I am. Hey, if I can make it through 3 rounds for time of 50 wall balls/50 calorie row, well, I can make it through anything (Yes, I still remember that WOD, Jesse. It is burned in my mind. Forever.)! To be clear, that wasn’t a joke — I seriously feel this way. So the next time you think you %$&*@! hate CrossFit and never want to go back, just remember that those feelings will eventually pass and what will remain is a courageous, strong, and basically way more awesome version of yourself…who also happens to have a phenomenal ass. 😉 ”

*** Congrats to those of you who didn’t have a twisted love for the uncomfortable side of CrossFit from day 1. Your commitment is an amazing demonstration of will power.