CFS-Kids & PL-0018

“What CrossFit Squamish has taught me about being a great mother”

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When you have an email address that starts with “info@” you see quite a range of topics, requests and antics in your inbox every day.  On very rare occasions there is one that stops you in your tracks on the way in the door, after a long day, with your coat half off, and the lights in the house still off.  This one got me last night and it’s raw honesty was so powerful that it reminded me how SO amazing, complex, and genuine people can be.

Most of you can probably figure out who this is and though she doesn’t want to remain anonymous, she is a bit shy.  But she wants to share it 🙂  My hunch is that many of you will be able to relate to certain pieces.

“What CrossFit Squamish has taught me about being a great mother……

My journey to CrossFit started with my daughter.  She had some pretty serious strength training to do to get muscles in her legs tracking her kneecap properly.  It literally jumped track every time she bent her knee.  Now there are sports aplenty in Squamish but trying to find serious training for teenagers was a challenge.  CrossFit Squamish accepted her as a client even though their policy is usually to only have the children of active members unless space allows – I love CFS for that reason alone.  I wouldn’t say my daughter loves CrossFit, but I would say she loves what it is giving her, she loves her group and she loves her coaches.

The first year at CrossFit Squamish was through my daughter.  As she got stronger, I got fatter.  I was getting embarrassed to pick her up.  Three years before she started I was at my ideal weight after having lost 80lbs through a lot of exercise and eating “well”.  I gave up exercising because I thought I was too busy to sacrifice 4 hours a week.  Why bother when you are your ideal weight?  This is why I was embarrassed – I knew how to eat right, I knew what hard work feels like, I knew it hurts, I knew I love it, I knew it took time out of my schedule, I knew how to lose 80lbs because I had done it already.  I was right where I started again.  One month before I started CrossFit I was 38lbs heavier than I promised myself I would ever be again and I had given myself a pretty good cushion – 140lbs was my promise, at 5’2” that is pretty cushy.

I emailed CFS. I needed a kickstart. I thought I was going to shed some fat and be happy.  This was me trying to improve just me. I thought I was going to do some exercise, go home and not think about CFS or CrossFit at all.  I was wrong. 

Now foundation classes are awesome, but it is a lot to learn.  I forget stuff.  When I got to real classes I wanted to remember what a snatch was and the difference between a thruster and a high hang.  So I started googling……  I started studying, watching videos and reading every article I could.  I stumbled into nutrition.  I thought I knew a lot about nutrition.  I was wrong.

I got better at remembering movements, I became obsessed with learning about nutrition.  This was within the first month of me doing CrossFit.

All the reading was confusing me.  Where do I start? I already don’t eat rice, bread and potatoes, but I do feed it to my kids and hubby!! How do you balance the hormones of five people with the food you feed them???? Can you secretly get your kids to Zone without telling them?  How do I Zone myself never mind the rest of them?!?!?!  Would they eat meat, veggies, some fruit, little starch, nuts and seeds or would they rather starve??

I thought I was doing great.  I was wrong.

My kids are active. They eat at least one serving of veggies with lunch and one with dinner.  They eat a ton of fruit. Smoothies made from nutritious blueberries, bananas and coconut milk is a staple.  All three kids love pasta, bread, potatoes, peanut butter, rice, chips and pop, but don’t all kids.  To quote Rob Wolff “It would be funny, if it wasn’t so tragic!”

I had read “the Zone-zero to sixty”, The Paleo Diet, watched all Greg Glassman’s videos, downloaded a Paleo cookbook and read “It Starts With Food”.  I was one day away from starting The Whole 30 when I saw a FB post from CFS, FOOD GROUP 15.1, HALLELUJAH!!!  I think I registered in 4 minutes; I panicked 4 minutes after that.  I battled with myself for a week, trying to figure out how to gracefully unregister.  I convinced myself I was not ready.  I convinced myself I had it all figured out.  I just hadn’t started yet. 

Life is like a plane crash.  You have to put your mask on first.  I can do this. I am putting on my mask then I am saving my children, maybe even my Hubby if he will let me.

Here’s the thing.  This world is killing my kids.  It is going to try to kill them slowly and painfully.  Even I am killing my kids.  Morbid, I know.  This might be the first generation that has a shorter life span than the previous.  The generation of my kids will be the unhealthiest generation in human history.  I have been trying to learn how to help my kids for years.

Because of CrossFit Squamish I am changing a few things, actually a lot of things.  Thank you Food Group 15.1, even though we are only in week 2, I feel a big sigh of relief.  This is not as hard as I thought.  Maybe it was because of all the reading I have done in the last few months, but it is kinda easy.  With the exception of my complete emotional melt down after not having coffee or a bottle of wine in a week, because my hubby ate my perfectly measured 1 oz meatballs.  Sorry, but I did have wine after that, it was to save the children. 

Because of CrossFit Squamish my daughters will learn that beauty is in strength, because I am no longer looking for my ideal weight- I am learning how to be stronger, faster and better than I am now.  Even though that now changes every second.  My son will learn that beauty is in strength and a strong woman is a treasure.  My kids will think about what they eat because I am going to teach them how to use food to be awesome.  My kids are learning that you need 6 hours a week to sweat, even if you don’t get the dishes done.  

Maybe CrossFit Squamish didn’t do all this.  Maybe they just sent me in the right direction.  Maybe they paved the path.  Maybe they just had all the tools.  Maybe they are just awesome.

I am five months into my CrossFit life.  I am not embarrassed to go to the box –except for asking for mod’s because 40 year old me is not healing as fast as 20 year old me used too.  I am not embarrassed to pick my daughters up from the box – if fact, I like to go in and watch once in a while. My girls do amazing things in there.  I am not embarrassed to look in the mirror any more, I have lost 25lbs, but that’s not why.  I am not my ideal weight, yet.  I am not able to do a pull-up, yet. Yet, it is a beautiful word!!!

I wrote this for Jesse and Heather because they should know that when they change the life of a mother they change the next generation, and I am not good at talking about important things without crying.”

There is so much wrapped up in this email that it takes a few reads to process.  Spend some time thinking about it.  In the world of social media where we are bombarded by people’s daily “successes” (authentic or not), these truly authentic and raw stories give us opportunity to be deeply inspired and grateful.